I have not abandoned you all. I am just in the process of moving and starting a new occupation. It’s eating up more time than I would like, but I will return soon enough. Have patience.
Also, if there is anything you’d like to see explored on here, feel free to comment below!
- Cornelius G. Thundercock, your new master, drinks gratis.
- Should the belly of your new master rumble with a ferocious hunger and ravenous pains of a stomach unfulfilled, it is Vex’s duty to end the suffering. The preferred meal is a slice of smoked venison on bread with two fried rock warbler eggs adorning it. Layer on two slices of a tomato and some cabbage. Add spice. Serve with a side of sliced apples and Cyrodiilic brandy. Whether this be at the wee hours of the morning or midday, when hunger strikes, it must always be satiated, lest one dares temper the wrath of Dovahkiin.
- When Cornelius has returned from a long adventure, his chosen bed-mate is the strong-willed and always dazzingly beautiful Sapphire. Let no other thief’s hand lay upon her, or death is an imminent future. His most gracious leader has already called “dibs” as it were.
- If Baron Thundercock chooses to indulge in a bit of gambling with cards, his gaming buddies are Delvin Mallory, Brynjolf, Vipir the Fleet, and Rune. All named must play, and no one leaves until Cornelius calls adjournment. No one else may play unless approved by the master.
- When roaming the countryside of Skyrim, all thieves are encouraged to pick flowers and other sorts of flora that smell decent enough. The Ratway reeks of bloated corpses and overflowing chamber pots, which wafts merrily into the Guild. These good aromas should help cleanse the taint of death that carries with the winds.
- The official merchant policy is, “No shirt, no shoes, no service.” Those who do not adhere to this code will be refused service.
- Nocturnal, the Night Mistress, does not like to be referred to as,”Oh, baby.” The thief who keeps shouting it repeatedly before her statue at night when he thinks we’re all asleep should refrain from continuing. Also, it would be considered a kindness if he were to clean up the stains left near her place of worship.
- A polite thief is an unsuspected thief. Slay them with kindness, my friends, and make sure to dress well. Dressing as a “thief” merely gets you noticed.
- The pond near the Ragged Flagon is not for bathing. It’s merely for decoration. While we may be thieves who jam our fingers into pockets and sneak into houses at night, we’re still civilized.